Darius

It's funny....I just read my previous blog and it brought tears to my eyes. Everything I wrote is so true. Yet, it's so hard to take those thoughts and make them happen. It's been a rough week. We just found out that Darius, our 7 year old silver tabby cat, is diabetic. This news is just devastating and I have to push back tears as I write this. Since Darius' diagnosis (a week ago), I've just been so sad. We've had a diabetic cat before and they are definitely not easy to manage. Plus, Darius is so much younger and stronger. I think he will be okay. Once we get his blood sugars regulated (and I honestly believe this will happen!), I think he will be okay. I'm not plagued with thoughts of him dying from this...I know he can beat this and be healthy. He's a fighter and I love him so much. Yet, having to deal with this is hard because it's bringing back so many memories of our other kitty who eventually passed from the disease. It's just hard...



But, it's not just Darius. I think it's just a little bit of everything right now. Perhaps it's the Holidays. I'm not sure. I'm just sad. I'm depressed and anxious. I haven't worked out in almost three weeks. That's TERRIBLE. I injured myself and that threw me off schedule...and now I've completely fallen off track. While I know I need to start working out again, I just don't have the motivation. I just don't care. I hate when I don't care. :(

So, I'm just trying to push through.

So many dreams, so far out of reach, yet so near. I just need to find my strength again. I know it's there. I think I've just buried myself again...so I guess I need to start digging. More soon.